I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize