Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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