Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
