wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
