We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
