Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
