I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
