My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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