when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize