also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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