highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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