thus making me awesome and them whores
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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