Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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