yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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