she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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