whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.