:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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