U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
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