Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
