I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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