dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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