I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
