all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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