Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
