No, drunk sperm still make babies.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
