Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
