Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
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