WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
