girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
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