At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
