Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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