Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
