you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
