is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You're a waste of cheezeits
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
