I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
