no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
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Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
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My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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