how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
