It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
