i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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