how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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