Already got asked if we're dating
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
The power of my boobs compel you
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
