I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
is wine microwaveable?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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