Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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