It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Boobs speak an international language.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
