We named our party play list daddy issues
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize