lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
