i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Mom said you looked used
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
