Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
