I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
