I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
