i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
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