Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
