I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
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If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
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according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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