Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
