96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize