Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
