Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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