Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
