I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
