The best revenge is premature balding
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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