I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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