This is not my ceiling
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
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