I wanna bring you to show and tell
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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