how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
